Jean-Paul Sartre`s trilogy The Roads To Freedom has fallen out of fashion somewhat – as if that mattered – yet it remains a classic. But for a book with a bit more existentialist heft, I recommend Pebblehead`s bestselling paperback The Roads To...
Hooting Yard : Voodoo Pigs
I do not know who awaits me in the upper chamber, although I now know that whoever it is will half expect me to be carrying a wafer. I can use the filthiness of my gloves as an excuse for not doing so.
It is an excuse I have flourished on many...
Hooting Yard : Hideous Bat-god Fatso
Ordinarily, when we think of harpies we think of Aello, Ocypete, and Celaeno, or as she is sometimes known, Podarge, the three sisters of Greek myth, bird-women who kept stealing, and befouling, food from Phineus and were generally vicious, violent and...
Hooting Yard : Tony Buzan
After I posted the piece entitled Denktash Fugue Syndrome, in which mention is made of Mrs Gubbins and her knitted tea cosies, I was deluged with mail from younger readers who complained that they had no idea what I was talking about. The general tone of...
Hooting Yard : Lugubrious Dismay
Without wishing to generate further controversy over what is, in any case, a pointless and trivial matter, I should add that I have recently completed a lengthy work, at fifteen volumes just one book short of Sabine Baring-Gould`s Lives Of The Saints. It...
Hooting Yard : Forty Years Of Hell In A Bauxite Mine
Bring me a cuppet of foaming grog! And bring me some rags to mop up the spillage! Bring me a lantern to light my way through the gruesome lanes of your gruesome village!
Me And My Monkeys
A Talk On Dobson
In The Bird-loft
For Flute Accompaniment
This...
Hooting Yard : Van Bronckhorst`s Syndrome
Slipping out of a den of vice through a side door, slinking with surprising elegance along a night alley thick with the leavings of debauchery, he whistled Oh Danny Boy, attracting the attention of police officers.
Threatened with truncheons and...
Hooting Yard : Executive Seating Pod
In a thicket, with a compass, I am thinking about blubber. I use blubber for my candles. I`m the captain of a whaler. Some use tallow, I use blubber. It gets smoky in my cabin. I`m not in my cabin now. As I said, I`m in a thicket. I`m on shore leave for...
Hooting Yard : Riding A Wild Horse
More than twenty years ago, I wrote a short piece in which I described being hunched among shimmerings. Looking back, it occurs to me that I didn`t really know what I was talking about. I was just blathering. I often blathered in those days, both vocally...
Hooting Yard : Peanuts And Hazelnuts
One has only to consider the records broken by Bobnit Tivol to recognise him for the superb sprinter he was. Leafing through old athletics almanacks, his name appears again and again and again, invariably in capital letters, annotated by one, two, or...
Hooting Yard : Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - Part Two
Part Two of a reading from Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - a pamphlet (out of print) published in 1991 by the Malice Aforethought Press.
Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - PartTwo
This episode was recorded on the 5th June 2008. For...
Hooting Yard : Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - Part One
Part One of a reading from Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - a pamphlet (out of print) published in 1991 by the Malice Aforethought Press.
Danny Blanchfowler, A Life In Football - Part One
This episode was recorded on the 29th May 2008. For...
Hooting Yard : Nightjars Attack Cattle
32. If you eat roasted swallow, you are likely to be attacked by dragons.
Sixty Unassailable Facts About Birds
This episode was recorded on the 22nd May 2008. A complete transcript of this episode can be found on Frank Key’s Hooting Yard...
Hooting Yard : Pebblehead`s Twaddle
I am very pleased to announce that the latest episode in the Grizzled Old Fool series of multi-platform cultural interventions has been released. Grizzled Old Fool At The Haberdashery sees the grizzled old fool going to a haberdashery to buy buttons and...
Hooting Yard : Four Leatherette Corner Flaps
The USS Milquetoast Jesuit is sponsored by L`Oreal, and is powered by light-reflecting booster technology, just like Andi MacDowell`s hair. Captain Biff is contractually bound to use various L`Oreal hair products, but if he had his way he would smear his...
Hooting Yard: The Legend Of The Golden Pig
The circumstances in which I first heard the legend of the golden pig were oddly similar to those of the Sermon on the Mount. Crushed in a multitude, I followed a beardy man up on to a hillock, and sat down and listened to him speak… well, more or...
Hooting Yard: Disquieting Ploppy Noises From Behind The Panel
Dobson wrote extensively during the period when he was hunkered down in a janitorium. The key pamphlets from this time were collected in a compendium and published as a thick paperback with a garish cover design suitable for sale at airport bookstalls....
Hooting Yard : Poop Deck Vampires
Captain Cake had gone to sea in a battered and leaking ship. He drank his grog from a bakelite cup. When he walked upon the orlop deck he sang in vulgar Latin, and every morning he made the sailors pray at Matins. The bo’sun had a voodoo doll...
Hooting Yard : Duffel Coat Cuffs
Dear Mr Key : I was minding my own business, sitting on my bench in the attic room of the Mercy Home For Abandoned Infants Made Of Wood, when my attention was drawn to your article entitled Wooden Child And Fiery Serpent And Trees. I should at once make...
Hooting Yard : Fat Horse Brain Media
Tiny Enid knew all there was to know about the capture of ostriches. As we sat together gulping down tumblers of lukewarm tap water, she gave me some tips.
A Cowboy Story
Derailed By Bees
The Path Of Pollen
The Adventures Of Tiny Enid
Tiny Bird...
